Category: You Can Fix That

Interesting, You Can Fix That

Experts Discover Potentially Dangerous Problem Caused by Covid-19

 

Pictures of Covid19 cells
Electron micrographs of isolated 2019-nCoV particles (left), and in cells from human airways (right), marked with arrows.
THE NEW ENGLAND JOURNAL OF MEDICINE

Coronavirus is Killing Your Libido

A couple of weeks into the Coronavirus pandemic, I began to get calls from old and new clients with what was an expected problem. The stress, anxiety and uncertainty surrounding the disease and the loss of millions of jobs, stress of standing in lines and finding empty shelves where there was once essential items, and the orders to stay away from people and stay in your homes was really weighing on us.  Clients were having difficulty sleeping, they were overeating, and this forced vacation from school and work was quickly becoming old.

The experts were telling us to wash our hands, social distance ourselves, and to the extent possible maintain a sense of normalcy. Well, this new normal was clearly changing the way we interact with our spouses and partners. In our pre-pandemic lives, couples/partners would go about their typical routines of being out of the home and away from each other for eight to ten hours a day. Perhaps you would return and have a date night, or share dinner and recount your day, or perhaps you would share a 2 people kissing in streetconversation you had with a friend or colleague about something interesting. There would be a reconnecting between you and your partner. However, we now find ourselves looking for ways to create our own space within the confinement of our homes.

Slowly, and almost imperceptibly, many people began to feel closed in;  closed in by the space; closed in by the situation; closed in by their partner. And the impact of this constant bombardment of stress combined with the inability to find space is having its toll on how people feel.

Hey Marc - Let's Talk

As I began to search more deeply into what they were saying and not saying, I was hearing things that began to raise red flags. I found that I was hearing a common theme starting to surface. Now before I get into what I was hearing, I want to share something that I also was seeing.

In an interesting marketing twist, the online porn sites such as PornHub and YouPorn began to advertise free service to help people through the stress of the pandemic. And while toilet paper was becoming a scarce resource, online retailers are seeing a serious surge in the sale sex toys. And these toys are not just for those who are isolated due to social distancing. No,  let’s put it on the line, sex feels good and it breaks up the boredom and routine. I will come back to the benefits in a bit. For now, let me leave that hanging there.

The red flags that my clients talked about outwardly dealt with their sleeplessness, anxiety, and fear. As we spoke more, they also shared that they were noticing that they weren’t feeling “IT”. They were feeling that their drive was on life-support. And when questioned further, both the men and women who were reaching out to me shared that they would find some personal space to slip away and masturbate. This too makes sense since it is “me time”, feels good, and relieves the boredom

Now, I am sure that like me, none of this is news or a surprise. Perhaps you find that I could well be describing the situation you are finding yourself in at the present. We know that libido is often the first victim of stress. The thing is that most people mistakenly equate libido to sex drive when it is truly much more than that. One of the most highly respected in the area of helping people overcome sexual issues through hypnosis is a woman in the U.K., Kaz Riley. Riley who is one of the most sought-after speakers and trainers in the world of hypnosis and the founder of Sexual Freedom Hypnosis , teaches therapists and clinicians how to improve the psycho-sexual functioning of consenting adults. Kaz’s definition of libido is far more comprehensive than simply sex-drive. According to Kaz, “ libido is a desire to connect. It is a sensual feeling and a desire to move forward. It is not just about having sex.”    This “life-force” as Riley calls it, is a primary driver that is there to help us succeed and achieve and to feel good.

The issue at hand (no pun intended), is that stress and anxiety become a loop which feed on themselves and create disruptions in our desire to share intimacy. It is well known that humans thrive with touch. For too many people who are shut-in away from others, they are failing to thrive. In fact, they are actually unintentionally harming themselves because they cannot engage in their normal routines of exercising, grooming and gaining the energy that we get from connecting with others and by overeating or eating the wrong foods, and masturbating to attempt to make themselves feel better.  I wrote the following in an earlier blog article: “We are, as humans, hardwired to seek connection. Study after study shows that people, especially, infants fail to thrive when they are deprived of human touch. Social touch is a powerful force in human development, shaping social reward, attachment, cognitive, communication, and emotional regulation from infancy and throughout life[i]. Yet, the social isolation, imposed loss of identity through job loss, unrelenting stress triggers, and continual uncertainty by politicians and fear mongers who continually move the “cheese” as we run through the maze, just exacerbates the deleterious effects on each of us.”

The death of our libido’s is serious. It is not just the loss of our sex drive; it is the loss of our feeling of intimacy and the long-term damage it is doing to us. And it isn’t going to be fixed with a little blue pill, or a new toy, or another video. No, right now, the only way that you are going to juice up your libido is by following these really important steps. Otherwise, you very well may find that it too is one of the casualties of the pandemic.

MOUTH TO MOUTH FOR YOUR LIBIDO

Reviving your drooping libido is going to take some elbow grease. You are going to have to take matters into your hands and really start a regimen of self-care. Start by losing the porn. PLEASE! I am not against porn. In fact, porn can be a great tool for spicing things up, if you remember that it is not real. I am, however, against using porn, or drugs or alcohol or food as an island of refuge from your pain, fear, and anxiety. That pain, fear, and anxiety that many are feeling is one of the biggest things you are facing. If you are struggling with the impact that any of these are having on your life, then reach out to me and see how hypnosis can help you break the cycle.

So, the first step to self-care is learning to become mindful. It means getting back to eating right, drinking plenty of water, taking time to practice mindfulness or other meditation. Mindfulness practice is not just about sitting quietly and clearing one’s mind. It is about learning to be present and focused in this moment. You can practice mindfulness when you are outside, socially distant from others, and walking. And as you walk mindfully, things begin to change. Perhaps, you become aware of the absence of airplane or car noises now. Maybe, you begin to notice the wonderful smells around and the colors of nature. I am amazed at how many people who tell me that they discover things that they have passed hundreds of times once they begin to do things mindfully.

One of the most amazing gifts of mindfulness is learning to eat mindfully. How much of the time do you eat a meal and before you know it, it is gone, and you have no idea what it tasted like. What if, you stopped and looked at your food? What if you smelled the smells and savored the tastes? What if instead of the usual bedroom routine of lips, t*ts and below the hips, you and your partner sensuously shared a piece of fruit or a glass of wine with the only goal being that of being able to experience this moment with them.  Imagine how much better you and your partner’s experience will be when you are both present and focused on each other.

Libido is about the journey, not the destination. Instead of becoming another victim of this pandemic, you have the most unique opportunity to spend time and put real effort into your relationship. It is not about achieving orgasm, though they feel great and release a host of endorphins and feel good hormones. Libido is far more than that. Now, maybe more than ever before, we need purposeful, loving, connection. The connection that comes from long hugs or sitting close to each other looking deeply into the windows of their being or with your hand on their hearts synchronizing your breathing and heartbeat. Now, more than ever before, we need to connect by shutting out the world, the noise and insanity, and allow the energy that attracted us to that other person to flow. And when you do that, when you mindfully engage in connecting and meet their needs, you will be amazed at how the desire to move forward and again be real with each other will break through.

Hey Marc - Let's Talk

[i] Social touch and human development

Carissa J.Cascioac DavidMooreb FrancisMcGlonebd

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dcn.2018.04.009

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Hypnotist, Author & Motivational Speaker, Marc Marshall

Marc Marshall is a certified clinical and stage hypnotist, medical hypnotist and certified mind-body specialist, author and motivational speaker at the New Jersey Hypnosis Center in Summit NJ.  He specializes in dealing with trauma, sexual trauma, pain, medical hypnosis and works with clients to empower and teach them how to improve their lives through hypnosis and mindfulness practice.  For more information or to schedule an appointment or interview, email info@hypnomarc.com or visit his website – www.hypnomarc.com

#hypnotherapy, @kazriley, @sexualfreedomhypnosis, #covid19, #Coronavirus, #pandemic, #anxiety, #NLP, #hypnosis, #marcmarshall, #quarantine, #hypnotherapy, #covid19, #coronavirus, #hypnosis, #masshypnosis, #fear, #stress, #anxiety, #obesity, #marcmarshall, #newjerseyhypnosis, #newjerseyhypnosiscenter, #njhypnosis, #hypnomarc, #health, #stress, #hypnotherapy, #hypnotize, #covid19hypnosis, #erotichypnosis, #sexualdysfunction, #libidio, #coupleshypnosis, #lossofsexdrive #relationships, newjerseyhypnosiscenter, #mindfulness, #summitnj, #westfieldnj, #sexpositive, #nofear, #sextherapy, #anorgasmia, #ed, #prematureejaculation, #vaginisumus, #performance, #performanceanxiety, #sex, #pleasure, #arousal, #porn, #pornaddiction, #masturbation #youporn, #pornhub, #sextoys #huffpo #refinery29 #buzzfeed #drresa #cosmo, #covid19update, #important covid19 information

Interesting, You Can Fix That

Stop with the New Year’s Resolutions! They DON’T WORK!

They DON’T WORK!
Photo by freestock.org by Pexels

 

Stop with the New Year’s Resolutions! 

They DON’T WORK!

The new year is here and like last year, and the year before and the year before that, you’ve decided it is time to take stock of your life.  So, let me guess, you’re being bombarded online, on TV, on radio, your family, your doctor… EVERYWHERE, with ads to change your life; to find love; to join this gym, that weight loss program, stop smoking programs, stopping using substances or gambling or internet addiction .  Well guess what?  IT’S A  SCAM!  IT’S A FRAUD!  It doesn’t work and it never will.  Sure, you may change for a short time, but it won’t last.  All you will have done is thrown away more money on band-aid fixes and reinforced that voice in your head that has been telling you for years it wouldn’t work.  YES… another failure and that voice is right, again!

By now, you are saying to yourself… “This guy’s a real downer!”  I’m psyched up to take charge of my life and make a change and here is some clown telling me it is never going to work.  THAT’S RIGHT- IT WON’T!  Because if it did, you never would be in this position.  This is nothing more than doing the same thing over and expecting a different result.  The weight loss industry with all their diet programs, gyms with membership come-ons and up-sell programs, all these programs know this one fact to be true;  your conscious mind, that rational part of your brain that responds to the slick ads is incapable of sustained change.  That means they can simply rinse and repeat their ads, parade out “happy” people and know how you, the vulnerable audience is going to flock to their “new and improved” program.

ARE YOU DOOMED TO LIVING AN UNHAPPY EXISTENCE?

As you guessed, that’s the wrong question.  The real question begins with “WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?”   Seriously,  it comes down to simply that.  More importantly it is a two part question – “What’s the problem; “How do you KNOW?”   You see, my experience from years as a clinical hypnotist has taught me that the “PROBLEM”  is never “THE PROBLEM”.   You or your friends, family, therapist or doctor have put this label on a situation, on an experience,  that is driving your unhealthy, unwanted behaviors and you continue to play that script over and over.   Each time you replay that failed program in your mind or life, you are not only strengthening the negative behaviors, but you are also changing them and your brain.

The issue comes down to breaking the bonds that have ensnared you, probably for a good part of your life.  Things like… “I’ve always been overweight .  Growing up my family was heavy.  That’s just who I am! “  or “I can’t focus, I have ADD/ADHD” or “I always windup with losers and getting hurt.” aren’t set in stone.  Just because that is the way it has been, does it mean that is the way it will always be?  That is solely up to you.  You are the only one who can make that choice.  You are the only one who can make this change.  Band-aids don’t fix it!  Living in the past  or worrying about the future can’t change it.  Change only happens when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

A large number of clients who come to see me for change work, begin by rehashing their stories of failures and pain.  They do this because they have been trained by therapists to relive and retell their “stories.”  They mistakenly believe that the answer lies in some mistake they made in the past.   The problem is that this approach only continues to reinforce the dysfunction and fire up neural pathways that continue to feed the issue and increase the negative states of being.  This is why I too often hear new clients telling me what they don’t want.  They are focused on the negative behavior, the substance abuse, the sexual trauma, the fear, the pain, the weight and not on what they want to feel like and be.

SO HOW DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?

The subconscious mind is really amazing in its ability to make rapid and dramatic changes.  Being that the subconscious mind is the feeling, non-rational mind  that operates without you having to think about it.  Being that the subconscious mind is literal, it is not being bound by logic.  Its purpose is to protect us and keep us safe.   Every action has a thought associated with it.  Most of the time, we are unaware of the thought.  Since behavior is controlled at the cellular level, it becomes important to change the emotional attachment that the subconscious mind holds to the behavior we are looking to change.

The challenge then becomes separating the intention from the behavior. The intention is what our subconscious mind is seeking to protect us from.  It is the underlying goal of the behavior.  Lasting change is dependent upon getting to a place of accepting the power of the resource state that you have inside of that unwanted behavior. Then reframing and amplifying it to a new and powerful resource state.  When this is done, the negative emotions that have previously been associated with the behavior are replaced with new neural pathways, positive feelings and a release.

Since imagination is more powerful then knowledge, just imagine what it would be like to be different.  Imagine being present and acting, rather than reacting to situations.  What would that feel like?  And as you picture your new and improved self, you are already beginning to make that lasting change permanent.  And that feels good.

SO WHAT’S DIFFERENT, NOW?

In part, it is the realization that what happened, happened.  You are not the same person that experienced that experience which has been driving those unwanted, unnecessary behaviors.  You did the best you could with the tools that you had at the time.  Those unnecessary and unwanted behaviors have been responsible for pain, both emotional and physical.  The false memories have been keeping you stuck and unhappy. But that is how it was.  Now, you have a chance to do something different.  You have a chance to take all the resources from all your experiences and power them up so they serve to move you forward and finally attain your goals of being a better, healthier and happier you.

The repeated failures to make change were the result of the conflicts between your conscious and subconscious mind.  And since it is impossible to hold conflicting ideas at the same time, there must be a winner and loser in our behaviors.  The winner will always be the subconscious mind.  As a result, it is necessary to bring our two minds into agreement.  Once you have eliminated the conflict between the conscious and subconscious minds you are able to eat mindfully, sleep better, love yourself, be more active and present.  These are all benefits that come once you are living in a new mindset.

WHAT IS THAT NOT?

This is a strange question.  It is not a question that you are going to answer in that gym or therapy session or weight loss program without working through the “problem” state. The answers come when you step outside of the box of usual and move to being ready to accept the change.  And even more interesting, is the fact that the change you seek can take place in a single hypnotherapy session.  Unlike traditional therapies that focus on the “cause” or “problem” or negative behaviors.  Hypnosis restructures the associated emotions and thinking that has been hardwired and amplified by the “stinking thinking.” If trauma takes place in an instant, why should anyone believe that change should take months or years?

What is really interesting is that because you have read down to this point of the article, you know that change has already begun.  You now have knowledge that you didn’t have just a few minutes ago and that is different. So knowing what you know now, you are asking yourself “Where do I go now?” 

You already know that everything you need to change already exists inside of you.  And knowing that, you also know that you are looking for someone who understands that you can love who you were by loving who you can become.  Becoming more resourceful is powerful.  Hypnosis is the most powerful path forward.  So, STOP WITH THE NEW YEAR”S RESOLUTIONS and take the action right now to respect yourself, love yourself and really pay attention to your needs.

SO, WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?

Is it that you want to reach out to me but don’t know how much more you want?   Or is it that you want more in your life but are not sure how to get it?  Does it really matter if you change now or in a couple of days from now, knowing that you are going to change.  And isn’t it exciting to know that you are finding that all those new and powerful resources that change you will make you even more amazing.

I guess it comes down to a simple thought, creating an even easier action to reach out and just ask me when that change can happen for you.  And because you want to know all of that I want to make it as easy as I can for you to get your answer, now.  Just click or tap this link and you too can decide the best day to change your life with hypnosis and without question.  Get Started NOW - Click or Tap

Marc Marshall, CPH, CHMI, MBIS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Marc Marshall is a certified hypnotist, medical hypnotist and certified mind-body specialist, author and motivational speaker with offices in Summit NJ and Shaftsbury Vt.  He specializes in dealing with trauma, sexual trauma, pain and works with clients to empower and teach them how to improve their lives through hypnosis and mindfulness practice.  For more information or to schedule an appointment or interview, email info@hypnomarc.com or visit his website – www.hypnomarc.com

Interesting, You Can Fix That

Just Close Your Eyes and See Your Pain Melting Away

Just Close Your Eyes and See Your Pain Melting Away…

How Much Better Would Your Life Be Without All That PAIN?

Are you one of the 50 Million Americans who suffers with chronic pain?  Is your pain limiting your ability to work or enjoy life?  Just imagine what it would be like to be able to control or even eliminate that life-limiting pain, without the use of dangerous opioid drugs.   So, #LetsTalkAboutPain.

For those who suffer chronic pain, every day, every month is about pain awareness.  However, for the rest of the population, the focus on pain comes once a year.  September is National Pain Awareness Month.  As part of recognizing the impact of chronic pain on the lives of millions, I believe it is important that we look at a technique that is gaining in popularity among health care providers, the National Institute of Health (NIH), and patients.

The NIH, in response to the devastation caused by the opioid crisis, has undertaken a serious examination of ways that can be used to reduce the suffering without the dangers caused by common pain medication.  The CDC, recognizes the importance of using pain medication for the short-term management of pain.  They warn, of the potential dangers associated with such medications in various publications they share with providers and the general public.  “Prescription opioids (like hydrocodone, oxycodone, and morphine) are one of the many options for treating severe acute pain. While these medications can reduce pain during short-term use, they come with serious risks including addiction and death from overdose when taken for longer periods of time or at high doses.”[i]

What is truly interesting is that medical science is once again looking at a very old, but highly effective method to control and mitigate pain.  If we look back a little more than 150 years ago to the civil war, the US Army was training their doctors in medical hypnosis to control the pain and provide a way to perform amputation surgery.   Brendan L. Smith, writing for the APA Monitor “Hypnosis has been used for centuries for pain control, including during the Civil War when Army surgeons hypnotized injured soldiers before amputations. Recent studies have confirmed its effectiveness as a tool to reduce pain.”[ii]

In order to understand how we deal with pain through hypnosis, it is important to understand how the body deals with pain.   Pain is perceived in the brain through the nervous system.  Peripheral nerves are receptors in the skin and organs that transmit pain signals from the nociceptors to the spinal cord.  From the spinal cord, the signals move to the thalamus, which is located deep in the brain.

The initial stimulation of the nociceptors release neurotransmitters activating cells in the spinal cord.  When the signals reach the thalamus, three areas of the brain are activated at the same time; the somatosensory cortex (the physical sensation area), the limbic system (the emotional feeling region), and the frontal lobe (the thinking region).  This results in the brain sending signals to respond to the pain.[iii]

The amazing part of understanding how and why hypnosis is so effective in dealing with pain comes from the understanding of how pain is recognized in the body and the origin of this and all other feelings.

One theory of how pain works called the Gate Control Theory of Pain, developed by researchers Patrick Wall and Ronald Melzack[iv]  suggests the presence of a “gate” that controls the perception of pain.  The gate either allows pain messages to flow, or blocks them.[v]  This result is dependent upon the volume of  stimulation of non-nociceptive (large nerve fiber messages) vs. nociceptive messages carried by the small nerve fibers.  A simplified explanation of the theory states that when the large nerve fibers are stimulated to a greater extent than the small fibers, then the perception of pain is blocked.  This is mechanism is critical in understanding how hypnosis can be highly effective in the process of managing pain in our clients.

Studies conducted by the National Institute of Health have repeatedly shown that hypnosis is an effective tool .  In a significant number of medical studies, hypnosis has been found to be an effective treatment for chronic pain across several conditions [15, 16]. Studies have shown that approximately 70% of individuals with chronic pain are able to experience a short-term reduction in chronic pain during a treatment session or hypnosis practice, and between 20% and 30% achieve more permanent reductions in daily pain [15, 40][vi].

In a 2005 paper written by Hansen and Stretlzer,  the authors acknowledge that there is an emotional component to pain.  “The perception of pain involves far more than mere sensation. The affective and evaluative components of pain are often as important as the production and transmission of the pain signal. These emotional aspects are most prominent in chronic pain patients, but knowledge of the psychology of pain can greatly improve the treatment of acute pain as well.” [vii]

What this means is that if the brain can create the pain, then it has all the tools it needs to control, or even eliminate it.  Pain medication doesn’t remove or heal the injury, but merely blocks the neural pathways to or in the brain to making the individual unable to perceive it.

So how then do we empower those who suffer to take back control of their lives by providing them with a scientifically proven tool that reduces pain to return function.  The answer is hypnosis.  Despite popular misconceptions, hypnosis, is not mind control.  Rather, it is shifting the client/patient from one state of awareness to another, an even more focused state.  It is the mechanism of shifting awareness that makes hypnosis incredibly powerful in allowing patients to find relief and empower them to take back control of their lives.   Through the various stages of work with the client/patient, the hypnotist shifts the awareness of pain and breaks down existing emotional and neural connections to the pain that frequently keep the client in the pain loop.   When this loop is interrupted and replaced by a new, more powerful state, the client/patient experiences a reduction or elimination of the chronic pain.  No longer are they the victim to something that they mistakenly believed was out of their control.  Now, the clients/patients are able to experience life free from the debilitating emotional and or physical sensation that was chronic pain.

In 2019, we find ourselves dealing with the fall-out of too many people who are victims of the devastation of an over prescribed pain medications.  The Federal Government, has tasked departments responsible for addressing these issues to find safe and effective alternatives.  Hypnosis, has once again risen to their attention as a highly effective and promising option that pain management specialist, the NIH and doctors are recognizing that hypnosis is a promising weapon in the search to help pain sufferers without the harmful side effects of dangerous procedures or prescriptions.

I work with a significant number of clients in my hypnosis practice who have found relief through hypnosis.  Many of these clients have suffered with chronic pain for years before finding relief and empowerment through hypnosis for pain.   Hypnosis is safe and effective in helping you get back to enjoying life and stop suffering through it.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Marc Marshall is a certified medical hypnotist and certified mind-body specialist, author and motivational speaker.  He works with clients to empower and teach them how to improve their lives through hypnosis and mindfulness practice.  For more information or to schedule an appointment or interview, email info@hypnomarc.com or visit his website – www.hypnomarc.com

[i] https://www.cdc.gov/drugoverdose/pdf/patients/Opioids-for-Acute-Pain-a.pdf. (n.d.). Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/drugoverdose/pdf/patients/Opioids-for-Acute-Pain-a.pdf

[ii] Smith, B. (2011, January). Hypnosis today. Monitor on Psychology, 42(1). http://www.apa.org/monitor/2011/01/hypnosis

[iii] Medical Hypnotherapy Practitioer Course – Become a Certified Medical Hypnotherapist, Module One, The Mind Body Connection.  Roth Seth-Deborah 2009 pg 22

[iv]  Pain mechanisms: a new theory. Melzack R, Wall PD
Science. 1965 Nov 19; 150(3699):971-9.

[v] Mendell, L. (2019). Constructing and deconstructing the gate theory of pain.

[vi] Dillworth, T., Mendoza, M. E., & Jensen, M. P. (2012, March). Neurophysiology of pain and hypnosis for chronic pain. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3717822/#targetText=When hypnosis is used as,tingling or numbness [31].

[vii] Hansen, George & Streltzer, Jon. (2005). The Psychology of Pain. Emergency medicine clinics of North America. 23. 339-48. 10.1016/j.emc.2004.12.005.

#LetsTalkAboutPain #Painmanagement #hypnomarc #hypnotherapy #hypnosis #hypnosispain #marcmarshall #PAM #PAM2019

You Can Fix That

You Need to Let Go of Yourself to Become the Best Version of Yourself

Why You Need to Let Go of Yourself to Become the Best Version of Yourself

What is the thing that is most holding you back from being the best version of you?

You might be tempted to say something along the lines of ‘time’, ‘energy’, ‘money’ or ‘opportunity’. Perhaps you feel limited by other people?

I have a hunch, which is that a big part of what’s holding you back is your own sense of self. In other words: you might well be limited by your attachment to the ‘old you’ and by your eagerness to be seen as consistent and reliable.

Why Consistency is Over-Rated

We all have an attachment to who we think we are. We all have a notion of ourselves and of who others think we are as well. For example: you may see yourself as someone lighthearted who is never serious. Or perhaps you see yourself as being a local at heart, who supports the local sports team and who would never leave home.

We like the sense of continuity that this brings and other people like the fact that they know where they stand with us.

We don’t want to do something that is ‘out of character’ and we don’t want to go back on things we’ve said.

But is this really something you should cling to? Maybe your concept of ‘you’ is outdated?

Adaptability is Key

If the dinosaurs taught us one thing, it is that adaptability is the most important trait when it comes to surviving and thriving. If you can’t adapt, then the world will change around you and you will become an anachronism.

With that in mind, what benefit is there for you to actively refuse to adapt and grow?

Have you ever told someone the way you felt and then changed your mind… only to then feel that you can’t go back on what you said?

Have you ever wanted to dress differently, or take a sudden serious tone, but felt enormous pressure from people’s expectations of you?

This is a prison. And the irony is that it is a lie: the truest version of ‘you’ is simply the ‘you’ that you naturally want to be. The best way to be ‘you’ is to drop all expectations and simply act in the moment based on your emotions and your feelings.

And remember: biologically, there is no continuity. The person you are now is biologically completely different from the person you were even 10 years ago. Accept it and move on.