Stop with the New Year’s Resolutions! They DON’T WORK!

Posted Posted in Interesting, You Can Fix That
They DON’T WORK!
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Stop with the New Year’s Resolutions! 

They DON’T WORK!

The new year is here and like last year, and the year before and the year before that, you’ve decided it is time to take stock of your life.  So, let me guess, you’re being bombarded online, on TV, on radio, your family, your doctor… EVERYWHERE, with ads to change your life; to find love; to join this gym, that weight loss program, stop smoking programs, stopping using substances or gambling or internet addiction .  Well guess what?  IT’S A  SCAM!  IT’S A FRAUD!  It doesn’t work and it never will.  Sure, you may change for a short time, but it won’t last.  All you will have done is thrown away more money on band-aid fixes and reinforced that voice in your head that has been telling you for years it wouldn’t work.  YES… another failure and that voice is right, again!

By now, you are saying to yourself… “This guy’s a real downer!”  I’m psyched up to take charge of my life and make a change and here is some clown telling me it is never going to work.  THAT’S RIGHT- IT WON’T!  Because if it did, you never would be in this position.  This is nothing more than doing the same thing over and expecting a different result.  The weight loss industry with all their diet programs, gyms with membership come-ons and up-sell programs, all these programs know this one fact to be true;  your conscious mind, that rational part of your brain that responds to the slick ads is incapable of sustained change.  That means they can simply rinse and repeat their ads, parade out “happy” people and know how you, the vulnerable audience is going to flock to their “new and improved” program.

ARE YOU DOOMED TO LIVING AN UNHAPPY EXISTENCE?

As you guessed, that’s the wrong question.  The real question begins with “WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?”   Seriously,  it comes down to simply that.  More importantly it is a two part question – “What’s the problem; “How do you KNOW?”   You see, my experience from years as a clinical hypnotist has taught me that the “PROBLEM”  is never “THE PROBLEM”.   You or your friends, family, therapist or doctor have put this label on a situation, on an experience,  that is driving your unhealthy, unwanted behaviors and you continue to play that script over and over.   Each time you replay that failed program in your mind or life, you are not only strengthening the negative behaviors, but you are also changing them and your brain.

The issue comes down to breaking the bonds that have ensnared you, probably for a good part of your life.  Things like… “I’ve always been overweight .  Growing up my family was heavy.  That’s just who I am! “  or “I can’t focus, I have ADD/ADHD” or “I always windup with losers and getting hurt.” aren’t set in stone.  Just because that is the way it has been, does it mean that is the way it will always be?  That is solely up to you.  You are the only one who can make that choice.  You are the only one who can make this change.  Band-aids don’t fix it!  Living in the past  or worrying about the future can’t change it.  Change only happens when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

A large number of clients who come to see me for change work, begin by rehashing their stories of failures and pain.  They do this because they have been trained by therapists to relive and retell their “stories.”  They mistakenly believe that the answer lies in some mistake they made in the past.   The problem is that this approach only continues to reinforce the dysfunction and fire up neural pathways that continue to feed the issue and increase the negative states of being.  This is why I too often hear new clients telling me what they don’t want.  They are focused on the negative behavior, the substance abuse, the sexual trauma, the fear, the pain, the weight and not on what they want to feel like and be.

SO HOW DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?

The subconscious mind is really amazing in its ability to make rapid and dramatic changes.  Being that the subconscious mind is the feeling, non-rational mind  that operates without you having to think about it.  Being that the subconscious mind is literal, it is not being bound by logic.  Its purpose is to protect us and keep us safe.   Every action has a thought associated with it.  Most of the time, we are unaware of the thought.  Since behavior is controlled at the cellular level, it becomes important to change the emotional attachment that the subconscious mind holds to the behavior we are looking to change.

The challenge then becomes separating the intention from the behavior. The intention is what our subconscious mind is seeking to protect us from.  It is the underlying goal of the behavior.  Lasting change is dependent upon getting to a place of accepting the power of the resource state that you have inside of that unwanted behavior. Then reframing and amplifying it to a new and powerful resource state.  When this is done, the negative emotions that have previously been associated with the behavior are replaced with new neural pathways, positive feelings and a release.

Since imagination is more powerful then knowledge, just imagine what it would be like to be different.  Imagine being present and acting, rather than reacting to situations.  What would that feel like?  And as you picture your new and improved self, you are already beginning to make that lasting change permanent.  And that feels good.

SO WHAT’S DIFFERENT, NOW?

In part, it is the realization that what happened, happened.  You are not the same person that experienced that experience which has been driving those unwanted, unnecessary behaviors.  You did the best you could with the tools that you had at the time.  Those unnecessary and unwanted behaviors have been responsible for pain, both emotional and physical.  The false memories have been keeping you stuck and unhappy. But that is how it was.  Now, you have a chance to do something different.  You have a chance to take all the resources from all your experiences and power them up so they serve to move you forward and finally attain your goals of being a better, healthier and happier you.

The repeated failures to make change were the result of the conflicts between your conscious and subconscious mind.  And since it is impossible to hold conflicting ideas at the same time, there must be a winner and loser in our behaviors.  The winner will always be the subconscious mind.  As a result, it is necessary to bring our two minds into agreement.  Once you have eliminated the conflict between the conscious and subconscious minds you are able to eat mindfully, sleep better, love yourself, be more active and present.  These are all benefits that come once you are living in a new mindset.

WHAT IS THAT NOT?

This is a strange question.  It is not a question that you are going to answer in that gym or therapy session or weight loss program without working through the “problem” state. The answers come when you step outside of the box of usual and move to being ready to accept the change.  And even more interesting, is the fact that the change you seek can take place in a single hypnotherapy session.  Unlike traditional therapies that focus on the “cause” or “problem” or negative behaviors.  Hypnosis restructures the associated emotions and thinking that has been hardwired and amplified by the “stinking thinking.” If trauma takes place in an instant, why should anyone believe that change should take months or years?

What is really interesting is that because you have read down to this point of the article, you know that change has already begun.  You now have knowledge that you didn’t have just a few minutes ago and that is different. So knowing what you know now, you are asking yourself “Where do I go now?” 

You already know that everything you need to change already exists inside of you.  And knowing that, you also know that you are looking for someone who understands that you can love who you were by loving who you can become.  Becoming more resourceful is powerful.  Hypnosis is the most powerful path forward.  So, STOP WITH THE NEW YEAR”S RESOLUTIONS and take the action right now to respect yourself, love yourself and really pay attention to your needs.

SO, WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?

Is it that you want to reach out to me but don’t know how much more you want?   Or is it that you want more in your life but are not sure how to get it?  Does it really matter if you change now or in a couple of days from now, knowing that you are going to change.  And isn’t it exciting to know that you are finding that all those new and powerful resources that change you will make you even more amazing.

I guess it comes down to a simple thought, creating an even easier action to reach out and just ask me when that change can happen for you.  And because you want to know all of that I want to make it as easy as I can for you to get your answer, now.  Just click or tap this link and you too can decide the best day to change your life with hypnosis and without question.  Get Started NOW - Click or Tap




Marc Marshall, CPH, CHMI, MBIS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Marc Marshall is a certified hypnotist, medical hypnotist and certified mind-body specialist, author and motivational speaker with offices in Summit NJ and Shaftsbury Vt.  He specializes in dealing with trauma, sexual trauma, pain and works with clients to empower and teach them how to improve their lives through hypnosis and mindfulness practice.  For more information or to schedule an appointment or interview, email info@hypnomarc.com or visit his website – www.hypnomarc.com

What is Equanimity? And Why Should I Care?

Posted Posted in Interesting

What is Equanimity?

Equanimity is a practice, most often discussed in Buddhist and Sufi traditions. Equanimity is the base for wisdom and freedom and for compassion and love. Few individuals are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions that differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most individuals are even incapable of forming such opinions.

Philosophy teaches us to bear with equanimity the bad luck of other people.

Merriam-Webster defines equanimity as an evenness of mind under stress – a habit of mind that’s rarely disturbed under great strain; a controlling of emotional or mental agitation through will and habit; a steadiness when facing strain.

What does equanimity look like?

Equanimity is the capacity to stay neutral, to observe from a distance, and be at peace without getting caught up in what we observe. It is the capacity to see the big picture with understanding and without reacting, for instance, to another’s words, ideology, perspective, position, premise, or philosophy. Essentially, we take nothing personally; refuse to be caught up in the drama our own or other peoples.

Equanimity allows us to “stand in the midst,” of conflict or crisis in a way where we are balanced, grounded and centered. Equanimity has the qualities of inner peace, well be-ing, vitality, strength, and steadfastness. Equanimity allows us to remain upright in the face of the strong winds of conflict and crisis, such as: blame, failure, pain, or disrepute – the winds that set us up for suffering when they begin to blow. Equanimity protects us from being “blown over” and helps us stay on an “even keel.”

How do we develop equanimity?

There are numerous mind/body qualities that support the development of equanimity. One is integrity. Do-ing and be-ing in integrity supports our feeling confident when we speak and act. Being in integrity fosters an equanimity that results in “blamelessness,” feeling comfortable in any setting or with any group without the need to find fault or blame. Another quality that supports equanimity is faith (not necessarily a religious or theological faith) – a faith based on wisdom, conviction or confidence. This type of faith allows us to meet challenge, crisis or conflict head on with confidence, with equanimity. A third quality is that of a well-developed mind a mind that reflects stability, balance and strength. We develop such a mind through a conscious and consistent practice of focus, concentration, attention and mindfulness. A well-developed, calm mind keeps us from being blown about by winds of conflict and crisis.

A quality that supports equanimity is seeing reality for what it is, for instance, that change and impermanence are an unpleasant fact. We become detached and less clingy to our attachments. This means letting go of negative judgments about our experience and replacing them with an attitude of loving kindness or acceptance and a compassionate matter-of-factness. The more we become detached, the deeper we experience equanimity.

The final quality is letting go of our need to be reactive so we can witness, watch and observe without needing to get caught up in the fray, the winds – maintaining a consistent relaxed state within our body as sensations move through.

Equanimity, thus, has two aspects: the power of reflection and an inner balance, both of which support one to be mindful, awake, aware and conscious. The greater the degree we are mindful, the greater our capacity for equanimity. The greater our equanimity, the greater our ability to remain steady and balanced as we navigate through the rough waters and gusty winds of change, challenge and conflict.

What happens when we are out of balance lacking equanimity?

In our everyday physical world, when we lose our balance, we fall. In our emotional world, we stuff our feelings and emotions, deny them or contract around them. Or we identify with a particular thought, feeling or emotion, hold on to it rather than allow it to flow through us or pass like a cloud in the sky. The middle ground is equanimity – the state of non-interference.

Equanimity allows for a deeper, more fulfilling experience.

As we develop our capacity for equanimity, we can begin to notice when we drop into a “state of equanimity.” Being aware of our experience, we can explore the state and this practice will lead to more frequent and deeper states of equanimity. What we find with such practice is that people, events, and circumstances that once caused us to be reactive no longer have any “charge” and we are more and more able to let go and feel less “bothered.” We suffer less.

You Need to Let Go of Yourself to Become the Best Version of Yourself

Posted Posted in You Can Fix That

Why You Need to Let Go of Yourself to Become the Best Version of Yourself

What is the thing that is most holding you back from being the best version of you?

You might be tempted to say something along the lines of ‘time’, ‘energy’, ‘money’ or ‘opportunity’. Perhaps you feel limited by other people?

I have a hunch, which is that a big part of what’s holding you back is your own sense of self. In other words: you might well be limited by your attachment to the ‘old you’ and by your eagerness to be seen as consistent and reliable.

Why Consistency is Over-Rated

We all have an attachment to who we think we are. We all have a notion of ourselves and of who others think we are as well. For example: you may see yourself as someone lighthearted who is never serious. Or perhaps you see yourself as being a local at heart, who supports the local sports team and who would never leave home.

We like the sense of continuity that this brings and other people like the fact that they know where they stand with us.

We don’t want to do something that is ‘out of character’ and we don’t want to go back on things we’ve said.

But is this really something you should cling to? Maybe your concept of ‘you’ is outdated?

Adaptability is Key

If the dinosaurs taught us one thing, it is that adaptability is the most important trait when it comes to surviving and thriving. If you can’t adapt, then the world will change around you and you will become an anachronism.

With that in mind, what benefit is there for you to actively refuse to adapt and grow?

Have you ever told someone the way you felt and then changed your mind… only to then feel that you can’t go back on what you said?

Have you ever wanted to dress differently, or take a sudden serious tone, but felt enormous pressure from people’s expectations of you?

This is a prison. And the irony is that it is a lie: the truest version of ‘you’ is simply the ‘you’ that you naturally want to be. The best way to be ‘you’ is to drop all expectations and simply act in the moment based on your emotions and your feelings.

And remember: biologically, there is no continuity. The person you are now is biologically completely different from the person you were even 10 years ago. Accept it and move on.

Want to become the most incredible, unstoppable version of yourself?

Posted Posted in You Can Fix That

Imagine becoming the most incredible, unstoppable version of yourself?

I’m not talking about the usual ‘self-help’ stuff. This goes beyond being a little better with the opposite sex or being a little more productive.

Want to take on all new challenges, explore new frontiers, grow and transform yourself?

Then the answer is to overcome your fear. Your fear is what is holding you back. Your fear is what is making you less capable and less formidable. And your fear is what is taking away from your happiness and your fulfillment.

It’s time we destroyed fear once and for all and unlocked our full potential.

THE SAMURAI CODE

If we want to learn how to really conquer fear, then we can turn to some examples from history. Some of the most fearless, formidable warriors of all were the samurai. So how did they achieve this complete lack of fear?

According to legend, there was a technique that the samurai would practice right before battle in order to eliminate their fear. To do this, they would vividly imagine every possible way that they could be killed. They would imagine being impaled, dismembered and decapitated.

Then they would focus on accepting these possibilities and coming to terms with them. They would become okay with a horrific and brutal death.

The samurai were actually a very morbid and fatalistic bunch. The bushido code explained that it was an honor to die in battle and that they should constantly keep their mind on death.

You’d think this would make them more fearful but paradoxically, it empowered them to be the completely ruthless, fearless warriors that they were. This makes sense: if you fear death, then you will fear life.

If the samurai have accepted the worst thing that could happen to them and if they have come to terms with it, then what reason have they to be afraid?

Now imagine fighting someone who has zero fear of death: who is willing to put themselves at risk, to launch 100% into a movement and not be concerned for the potential outcome. They would be devastating.

The good news is that we live in a much less dangerous time and you probably don’t need to come to terms with your death in quite the same way. But we can take this same notion and we can look at ways to apply it to our own lives.

Click this link to get a free checklist of ways you can start today! [contact-form][contact-field label=’Name’ type=’name’ required=’1’/][contact-field label=’Email’ type=’email’ required=’1’/][/contact-form] 

Take Charge of Your Life – Top Tricks for Killing Procrastination

Posted Posted in Interesting

Top Tricks for Killing Procrastination

Procrastination is something that can ruin your day, damage your career and negatively impact on your relationships.

Often, we laugh about procrastination as though it were an amusing habit and sometimes it can be. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t also incredibly destructive. Imagine it’s 4pm and you have work you desperately need to finish by 5pm but you can’t stop browsing Facebook or making trips to the kitchen for cups of coffee.

What happens? One option is that you end up going home very late and lose out on time with your family. Another option is that you end up not finishing the work and starting the next day incredibly behind.

Either way, this is a serious problem.

So, what can you do about it? Here are a few tricks that can help.

Start the Most Enjoyable Task First

One effective way to reduce your proneness to procrastination is to take on the easiest/most enjoyable task first. Our natural inclination is very often to handle the most difficult task first and to that way get it out of the way.

But if you’re struggling with motivation, then this is going to be a big up-hill struggle to get yourself to commit.

Instead, if the first task is something easier and more fun, then you’ll find you can work more easily without being distracted. And once you’ve done that, you should be in a slightly more work-oriented frame of mind.

Make it More Interesting

Procrastination often comes from one simple fact: the job you should be doing is boring. Hence you would rather be doing something else.

One simple solution is to make said task more enjoyable or interesting. This might mean turning letter stuffing into a game. Or it might mean providing yourself with a little stimulation: I will often write articles while watching videos on silent just to ensure that I have a bit of stimulation.

If you’re writing, then try to make the topic more interesting so that you’ll be less likely to be bored. If you’re bored writing it, then it’s probably not going to be great to read!

Increase Energy

Finally, note that we are much more prone to procrastination when we’re tired. Why? Because will-power requires energy. When you take that energy away, it becomes much easier to be distracted or interested with other things. Give yourself more energy by sleeping better, by eating supplements that boost energy levels and by avoiding stressful events wherever possible.