Why You Need to Let Go of Yourself to Become the Best Version of Yourself
What is the thing that is most holding you back from being the best version of you?
You might be tempted to say something along the lines of ‘time’, ‘energy’, ‘money’ or ‘opportunity’. Perhaps you feel limited by other people?
I have a hunch, which is that a big part of what’s holding you back is your own sense of self. In other words: you might well be limited by your attachment to the ‘old you’ and by your eagerness to be seen as consistent and reliable.
Why Consistency is Over-Rated
We all have an attachment to who we think we are. We all have a notion of ourselves and of who others think we are as well. For example: you may see yourself as someone lighthearted who is never serious. Or perhaps you see yourself as being a local at heart, who supports the local sports team and who would never leave home.
We like the sense of continuity that this brings and other people like the fact that they know where they stand with us.
We don’t want to do something that is ‘out of character’ and we don’t want to go back on things we’ve said.
But is this really something you should cling to? Maybe your concept of ‘you’ is outdated?
Adaptability is Key
If the dinosaurs taught us one thing, it is that adaptability is the most important trait when it comes to surviving and thriving. If you can’t adapt, then the world will change around you and you will become an anachronism.
With that in mind, what benefit is there for you to actively refuse to adapt and grow?
Have you ever told someone the way you felt and then changed your mind… only to then feel that you can’t go back on what you said?
Have you ever wanted to dress differently, or take a sudden serious tone, but felt enormous pressure from people’s expectations of you?
This is a prison. And the irony is that it is a lie: the truest version of ‘you’ is simply the ‘you’ that you naturally want to be. The best way to be ‘you’ is to drop all expectations and simply act in the moment based on your emotions and your feelings.
And remember: biologically, there is no continuity. The person you are now is biologically completely different from the person you were even 10 years ago. Accept it and move on.
More than ever, scientific surveys are proving the primary role played by stress in causing and aggravating various physical and emotional disorders. In the June 6, 1983 issue of Time Magazine, the cover story labeled stress “The Epidemic of the Eighties.” The article also mentioned that stress is our prominent health issue. Indeed it is unquestionable that the world has become more and more complicated and stressful in the past 25 years since that article was written.
Many surveys indicate that almost everybody perceives themselves as being under a lot of stress. Authorities in the field estimate that around 75 to 90 percent of all visits to primary care physicians are related to stress.
Most people say that their job is the major reason of their stress. And stress levels have also increased in children as well as the elderly population because of several reasons including: Peer pressures that often lead to everything from smoking to drug and alcohol abuse; the dissolution of family and religious values and ties; growing crime rates; threats to personal safety; as well as social isolation and loneliness.
Stress can cause and aggravate problems such as diabetes, ulcers, low back and neck pain, hypertension, strokes and heart attacks and weight gain. This is due to the ever growing sympathetic nervous system activity as well as a flood of cortisol, adrenaline, and other hormones. Chronic stress is corollary of weakened immune system resistance. Stress can contribute to anxiety, depression, and its various effects on the body’s organs.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines “Stress” is defined as: “To subject to physical or mental pressure, tension, or strain”
The same dictionary defines” tension” as: “Mental, emotional, or nervous strain”. When combined with anxiety (“A state of uneasiness and apprehension, as about future uncertainties”) and add in “depression” , we have the ingredients for a significant weakening of the body and interference with day-to-day social and emotional functioning.
There is a distinction between “depression”, “The condition of feeling sad or despondent” and “Clinical Depression” (“A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death.”)
We can, nonetheless, be sure that our mind is the primary cause of our feelings of stress, anxiety and depression. We could also say that, what we think about, and our attitudes and the way we view our experiences dictate what we feel. That which you focus on, becomes your reality. So if we can manage to modify our thoughts, attitudes, and points of view, then we can be relieved of our stress, anxiety, and depression and replace them with a better state of being.
Since the beginning of time, people have tried methods for getting rid of stress. The pharmaceutical industry seems to have a drug for everything. For that the industry has produced a large line of drugs including those that are frequently abused such as Valium, Ativan and Xanax. If you choose to use drugs for relief, please make sure that you read the fine print and learn about the side effects, which usually are, among others, addiction and dependency. The critical failure of chemically treating the symptoms without addressing the underlying cause is the development of the psychological chemical dependency to the drugs. The relief is fleeting and requires that the person stay medicated to control their symptoms
A more intelligent method to eliminate tension, stress, anxiety, and depression is to treat its actual cause, which as I said above, is generally our thought processes. Hypnosis and NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) are powerful tools to help in finding safe and lasting resolution to the underlying issues and the symptoms. The basis of hypnosis is relaxing. The AMA accepted hypnosis in 1958 as an effective method of treating stress or stress related symptoms. However unlike benzodiazepines (class of drugs such as Valium, Ativan, Xanax), there are categorically no bad side effects.
Hypnosis is the Alpha level of consciousness. It is the daydream like temporary psychological state which we feel as we are about to fall asleep at night. And we feel it once more when we awaken again. There are several different ways we can guide ourselves into this relaxed mood, from step-by-step relaxation to visual imagery to listening to hypnosis audio programs.
When we enter the hypnotic state, we can communicate with our subconscious mind, which is the seat of our emotions. And one can more easily accept new points of view and ideas which will help us to dissipate anxiety, or even prevent it from occurring in the first place.
NLP provides the suffering person with powerful techniques for releasing stress. Maybe the technique that works best is called the “swish” pattern – or the “flash” pattern. After using the “flash” pattern, your subconscious will automatically use negative, stress triggering mental images, as triggers for tranquilizing mental images. Otherwise stated, what commonly makes you feel stress will now trigger relaxation!
Tension, stress, anxiety, and depression can be prompted by our thoughts. So by changing our attitude and point of view towards our situation and our experiences, we can dissipate these feelings at the source. Hypnosis and NLP are natural tools that make it possible to change our attitude and point of view to easily dissipate the source of our negative feelings.
Marc is an award winning, certified stage and clinical hypnotist, author and motivational speaker with experience entertaining both large and small gatherings.
Marc uses his skills and talents in a variety of areas that include self-improvement or clinical hypnosis, motivational speaking, and comedy stage hypnosis. He has worked with individuals and corporations throughout the United States to improve outcomes in personal lives and organizations.
As a clinical hypnotist, he has helped people resolve sleep issues, lose weight, stop smoking, deal with long held fears, deal with stress and anxiety, manage pain, improve sports performance, eliminate addictions, and improve sexual function.
His performance resume include international appearances for casinos and resorts, on live shows for Refinery29 Live and Elite Daily’s TrashED. He regularly performs for major corporations, at comedy clubs, fairs and , and for schools, proms, graduations, conferences and conventions.
Marc’s book, “Staying in the Moment – Helping Students Achieve More Through Mindfulness Meditation” helps educators, parents and students get better results in the classroom through the adoption of mindfulness exercises as part of the curriculum.
For more information about, or to book an appointment with Marc visit his website: www.hypnomarc.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
– Are Kids Too Stressed? Things are just getting out of control and we need to STOP! Hypnotist, Author and Motivational Speaker, Marc Marshall, shares ways to deal with the stress that your teenager may be experiencing in light of the tragedy in Parkland. Learn what you can do to change things, NOW. Download this free Ebook .Are Out Kids Too Stressed?
Over the years, I have had many people come to me because of non-biologically based sleep issues. Some of these issues are related to Post Traumatic Stress (PTS). Some are related to work; some are related to relationship challenges; some are because of diet. And others present with no consciously apparent cause.
For those clients who present with a specific issue such as trauma or stress, our work to clear and address these issues is frequently all that is needed to help them once again enjoy life and resolve the challenges that have created the negativity that has been controlling their lives. In the case of those that are unable to specifically pinpoint a cause or causes, I work with them to clear those less than positive experiences that the subconscious mind is focusing on and which is playing out as a negative loop when they are trying to sleep.
It is the negative loop that needs to be broken in order for the client to move forward and experience success. Hypnosis, unlike prescription medications, which have significant and often dangerous side-effects, including addiction and abuse, improves feelings of general well-being, peace and calm. As with many other presenting complaints, clients seeking to deal with sleep deprivation or insomnia, find that hypnosis empowers them to take back control of their lives. It is this empowerment, along with the immediately recognizable phenomena, that creates a new, positive resource state that the client can use in all aspects of their lives.
The use of hypnosis as a means of resolving a host of issues dates back more than 4000 years to the Egyptians. There are many documented instances of the presences of sleep chambers or sleep temples that utilized trance states. [i] The process used by the Egyptians is well documented through hieroglyphics. Other later civilizations, including the Romans and Chinese, also utilized hypnosis for resolving and treating many maladies or to reach enhanced states of awareness.
One of the more interesting phenomena that I have recently noticed is an uptick in the number of new clients who are seeking help to resolve sleep issues. The majority of these clients are reporting increased levels of stress resulting from demands at work, in relationships, as well as feeling uneasy about the world around them. Most of these people are tethered to their computers, tablets and smart-phones, leaving them no ability to shutoff the constant bombardment of information and stimulation. They report less satisfying or no intimacy with others. They seek activities that will help them escape, only to discover these don’t work. Hypnosis, however, provides these people with the tool they seek to finally close off the “noise” of the outside world and get the sleep and relief they are searching for.
While I am able to address a broad range of concerns in my individual or group hypnosis sessions with clients, I also get inquiries from people who want to see what hypnosis feels like without having to come to my office. Through these recordings, individuals get some of the benefits they are seeking and often provides them with a positive hypnosis experience. This positive experience with the specially developed recordings, eventually leads many of them to contact me and move forward with a more comprehensive hypnosis session. If you, or someone you care about, suffers from insomnia or other sleep related issues, and are not yet ready to make an appointment to see me, consider purchasing a no-risk recording to improve your sleep. This link will take you directly to my secure store-front where you can quickly and easily download your recording and start sleeping better tonight for just $8.99. Buy Now - Sleep Tonight
[i]Chokroverty, S., & Billiard, M. (2015). Sleep medicine: a comprehensive guide to its development, clinical milestones, and advances in treatment. New York: Springer. (Sleep in Ancient Egypt, Tarek Asaad)
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