What is Equanimity? And Why Should I Care?

Posted Posted in Interesting

What is Equanimity?

Equanimity is a practice, most often discussed in Buddhist and Sufi traditions. Equanimity is the base for wisdom and freedom and for compassion and love. Few individuals are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions that differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most individuals are even incapable of forming such opinions.

Philosophy teaches us to bear with equanimity the bad luck of other people.

Merriam-Webster defines equanimity as an evenness of mind under stress – a habit of mind that’s rarely disturbed under great strain; a controlling of emotional or mental agitation through will and habit; a steadiness when facing strain.

What does equanimity look like?

Equanimity is the capacity to stay neutral, to observe from a distance, and be at peace without getting caught up in what we observe. It is the capacity to see the big picture with understanding and without reacting, for instance, to another’s words, ideology, perspective, position, premise, or philosophy. Essentially, we take nothing personally; refuse to be caught up in the drama our own or other peoples.

Equanimity allows us to “stand in the midst,” of conflict or crisis in a way where we are balanced, grounded and centered. Equanimity has the qualities of inner peace, well be-ing, vitality, strength, and steadfastness. Equanimity allows us to remain upright in the face of the strong winds of conflict and crisis, such as: blame, failure, pain, or disrepute – the winds that set us up for suffering when they begin to blow. Equanimity protects us from being “blown over” and helps us stay on an “even keel.”

How do we develop equanimity?

There are numerous mind/body qualities that support the development of equanimity. One is integrity. Do-ing and be-ing in integrity supports our feeling confident when we speak and act. Being in integrity fosters an equanimity that results in “blamelessness,” feeling comfortable in any setting or with any group without the need to find fault or blame. Another quality that supports equanimity is faith (not necessarily a religious or theological faith) – a faith based on wisdom, conviction or confidence. This type of faith allows us to meet challenge, crisis or conflict head on with confidence, with equanimity. A third quality is that of a well-developed mind a mind that reflects stability, balance and strength. We develop such a mind through a conscious and consistent practice of focus, concentration, attention and mindfulness. A well-developed, calm mind keeps us from being blown about by winds of conflict and crisis.

A quality that supports equanimity is seeing reality for what it is, for instance, that change and impermanence are an unpleasant fact. We become detached and less clingy to our attachments. This means letting go of negative judgments about our experience and replacing them with an attitude of loving kindness or acceptance and a compassionate matter-of-factness. The more we become detached, the deeper we experience equanimity.

The final quality is letting go of our need to be reactive so we can witness, watch and observe without needing to get caught up in the fray, the winds – maintaining a consistent relaxed state within our body as sensations move through.

Equanimity, thus, has two aspects: the power of reflection and an inner balance, both of which support one to be mindful, awake, aware and conscious. The greater the degree we are mindful, the greater our capacity for equanimity. The greater our equanimity, the greater our ability to remain steady and balanced as we navigate through the rough waters and gusty winds of change, challenge and conflict.

What happens when we are out of balance lacking equanimity?

In our everyday physical world, when we lose our balance, we fall. In our emotional world, we stuff our feelings and emotions, deny them or contract around them. Or we identify with a particular thought, feeling or emotion, hold on to it rather than allow it to flow through us or pass like a cloud in the sky. The middle ground is equanimity – the state of non-interference.

Equanimity allows for a deeper, more fulfilling experience.

As we develop our capacity for equanimity, we can begin to notice when we drop into a “state of equanimity.” Being aware of our experience, we can explore the state and this practice will lead to more frequent and deeper states of equanimity. What we find with such practice is that people, events, and circumstances that once caused us to be reactive no longer have any “charge” and we are more and more able to let go and feel less “bothered.” We suffer less.

You Need to Let Go of Yourself to Become the Best Version of Yourself

Posted Posted in You Can Fix That

Why You Need to Let Go of Yourself to Become the Best Version of Yourself

What is the thing that is most holding you back from being the best version of you?

You might be tempted to say something along the lines of ‘time’, ‘energy’, ‘money’ or ‘opportunity’. Perhaps you feel limited by other people?

I have a hunch, which is that a big part of what’s holding you back is your own sense of self. In other words: you might well be limited by your attachment to the ‘old you’ and by your eagerness to be seen as consistent and reliable.

Why Consistency is Over-Rated

We all have an attachment to who we think we are. We all have a notion of ourselves and of who others think we are as well. For example: you may see yourself as someone lighthearted who is never serious. Or perhaps you see yourself as being a local at heart, who supports the local sports team and who would never leave home.

We like the sense of continuity that this brings and other people like the fact that they know where they stand with us.

We don’t want to do something that is ‘out of character’ and we don’t want to go back on things we’ve said.

But is this really something you should cling to? Maybe your concept of ‘you’ is outdated?

Adaptability is Key

If the dinosaurs taught us one thing, it is that adaptability is the most important trait when it comes to surviving and thriving. If you can’t adapt, then the world will change around you and you will become an anachronism.

With that in mind, what benefit is there for you to actively refuse to adapt and grow?

Have you ever told someone the way you felt and then changed your mind… only to then feel that you can’t go back on what you said?

Have you ever wanted to dress differently, or take a sudden serious tone, but felt enormous pressure from people’s expectations of you?

This is a prison. And the irony is that it is a lie: the truest version of ‘you’ is simply the ‘you’ that you naturally want to be. The best way to be ‘you’ is to drop all expectations and simply act in the moment based on your emotions and your feelings.

And remember: biologically, there is no continuity. The person you are now is biologically completely different from the person you were even 10 years ago. Accept it and move on.

Want to become the most incredible, unstoppable version of yourself?

Posted Posted in You Can Fix That

Imagine becoming the most incredible, unstoppable version of yourself?

I’m not talking about the usual ‘self-help’ stuff. This goes beyond being a little better with the opposite sex or being a little more productive.

Want to take on all new challenges, explore new frontiers, grow and transform yourself?

Then the answer is to overcome your fear. Your fear is what is holding you back. Your fear is what is making you less capable and less formidable. And your fear is what is taking away from your happiness and your fulfillment.

It’s time we destroyed fear once and for all and unlocked our full potential.

THE SAMURAI CODE

If we want to learn how to really conquer fear, then we can turn to some examples from history. Some of the most fearless, formidable warriors of all were the samurai. So how did they achieve this complete lack of fear?

According to legend, there was a technique that the samurai would practice right before battle in order to eliminate their fear. To do this, they would vividly imagine every possible way that they could be killed. They would imagine being impaled, dismembered and decapitated.

Then they would focus on accepting these possibilities and coming to terms with them. They would become okay with a horrific and brutal death.

The samurai were actually a very morbid and fatalistic bunch. The bushido code explained that it was an honor to die in battle and that they should constantly keep their mind on death.

You’d think this would make them more fearful but paradoxically, it empowered them to be the completely ruthless, fearless warriors that they were. This makes sense: if you fear death, then you will fear life.

If the samurai have accepted the worst thing that could happen to them and if they have come to terms with it, then what reason have they to be afraid?

Now imagine fighting someone who has zero fear of death: who is willing to put themselves at risk, to launch 100% into a movement and not be concerned for the potential outcome. They would be devastating.

The good news is that we live in a much less dangerous time and you probably don’t need to come to terms with your death in quite the same way. But we can take this same notion and we can look at ways to apply it to our own lives.

Click this link to get a free checklist of ways you can start today!

 

Yes, You Can Overcome Performance Anxiety In 1 Session. Here Are 6 Things You Must Know First…..

Posted Posted in Interesting, You Can Fix That

People ask me all the time if they really can completely eliminate their performance anxiety( often referred to as stage fright, or fear of public speaking) and feel confident and in control when they have to express themselves in front of others such as: performing, giving a talk, a presentation or a public opinion at home, at work or in social situations.

It seems hard for people to believe that they can eliminate their performance anxiety so quickly, especially since many people have been suffering with it for so long and have attempted to get help through a variety of programs with little results.

The problem begins to look too big to solve, impossible to eliminate, overwhelming and improbable. Each time you attempt to change something in your life and don’t, the more you believe that you can’t . It’s one of the laws of our mind. “What the subconscious mind perceives to be the truth, becomes the truth.”

When you suffer from performance anxiety, you know it by your immediate physical reactions which can include (but are not limited to) feeling sweaty and faint, fear of losing control, trembling, hyperventilating, shaky voice, diarrhea, weakness in the knees, dry mouth, a desire to flee, difficulty concentrating, pounding heart, and feelings of complete terror, and panic.

These feelings occur every single time you have to express yourself in front of others, they often occur simply in anticipation of expressing yourself in front of others, even though it may be days or weeks in advance.

The truth is, you must come to that point when you are absolutely ready to change, (read that again) then you have to (take action) and then you can become the change you seek. We get positive results by getting the facts, then finding the best solution to resolve it.

Change is possible.  Here are 6 things you must absolutely know before you can completely eliminate your performance anxiety and the negative and debilitating feelings associated with it.

PRACTICE DOES NOT TAKE AWAY ANXIEYT – You can’t practice your performance anxiety away. In other words, getting up in front of people over and over again, isn’t going to resolve performance anxiety regardless of what you may have read or heard to the contrary. The reason is simple. Performance anxiety is not a rational understanding by the conscious mind, it’s created by your subconscious mind to protect you from this imagined danger. ( It’s called a conditioned response) You will continue to respond to this situation exactly the same way you always have until you resolve it.

PERFORMANCE ANXIETY WON’T GO AWAY BY ITSELF OVER TIME. Simply put, you can’t ignore it, or take time off from your career or your social life and then expect your performance anxiety to have disappeared on its own when you get back.

SELF-MEDICATING WITH DRUGS OR ALCOHOL IS NOT SOLVING YOUR PERFORMANCE ANXIETY.  The fact is that self-medicating with drugs or alcohol is actually making your life, your health and your performance worse. If you are self-medicating to get yourself through presentations or performances, you are throwing away your career, your health, and your important relationships and you still will not have resolved your performance anxiety. When you resolve your performance anxiety you’ll feel confident, in control and your performance will dramatically improve naturally, without the need for drugs or alcohol.

PRESCRIPTION DRUGS DON’T ELIMINATE YOUR PERFORMANCE ANXIETY. They simply help you to manage it in return for a variety of side effects that definitely diminish your performance. A lot of performers and presenters, from actors to classical musicians, to lawyers, to salespeople, talk about the use of beta-blockers and anti-anxiety drugs as a method to control their performance anxiety or( stage fright or fear of public speaking ) as it is often called. Again, the bottom line here, is that you must resolve your performance anxiety, when you do, the feelings associated with it will disappear and so will your need for prescription drugs.

AVOIDANCE IS NOT A CURE FOR PERFORMANCE ANXIETY.  More often than not an individual will use avoidance as a means to manage their performance anxiety. The belief is that by avoiding such situations they are managing the problem. The truth is just the opposite, they are actually being managed by their fears and anxiety. For performers and presenters in particular, this choice can be a career ending decision. At the very least, you pay a very high price with your mental and physical well-being, not to mention all the lost opportunities.

HYPNOSIS CAN HELP YOU ACTUALLY CAN OVERCOME AND ELIMINATE YOUR PERFORMANCE ANXIETY, IN ONE SESSION.   Today we use techniques that are simple, fast, relaxing and effective. You don’t have to spend months or years in therapy or thousands of dollars on programs that aren’t right for you. All you need is 1.) to understand the  points I just shared with you, 2.) make your decision to fix the problem and 3.) take action by clicking or tapping this link and contact me now.

Get Started NOW - Click or Tap

About the Author: 

Marc is an award winning, certified stage and clinical hypnotist, author and motivational speaker with experience entertaining both large and small gatherings.

Marc uses his skills and talents in a variety of areas that include self-improvement or clinical hypnosis, motivational speaking, and comedy stage hypnosis.  He has worked with individuals and corporations throughout the United States to improve outcomes in personal lives and organizations.

As a clinical hypnotist, he has helped people resolve sleep issues, lose weight, stop smoking, deal with long held fears, deal with stress and anxiety, manage pain, improve sports performance, eliminate addictions, and improve sexual function.

His performance resume include international appearances for casinos and resorts, on live shows for Refinery29 Live and Elite Daily’s TrashED.  He regularly performs for major corporations, at comedy clubs, fairs and , and for schools, proms, graduations, conferences and conventions.

Marc’s book, “Staying in the Moment – Helping Students Achieve More Through Mindfulness Meditation” helps educators, parents and students get better results in the classroom through the adoption of mindfulness exercises as part of the curriculum.

For more information about, or to book an appointment with Marc visit his website: www.hypnomarc.com or email info@hypnomarc.com.

Top Hypnosis Expert Reveals How to Remove the Fear of Clowns (and avoid Embarrassment!)

Posted Posted in Interesting, You Can Fix That

,Just in time for Halloween Stephen King’s film IT (#IT) is set to open on September 8th.  We can be sure that Throughout the U.S. there be a resurgence of  Scary Clowns invading communities and terrorizing people.  In the past, these reports included attempts by some to lure children into the woods.  The Scary clowns have people afraid, police and sheriff’s departments scrambling, and reports of physical attacks on innocent pedestrians.

Every year, about this time, I receive a few phone calls from people with a special fear.  The technical term is CoulrophobiaThe Fear of Clowns!  This fear seems to haunt more people in Gen-Y and Gen-X than prior groups and there appears to be some strong indicators as to why this is.

The boomer generation grew up with clowns such as Bozo and Clarabel during the 1950’s and 60’s.  These clowns were associated with fun, laughter and cartoons, the pacifier of the generation.   That, however changed dramatically in the early 70’s with the infamous – Killer Clown – John Wayne Gacy (Pogo the Clown).

Originally, clowns were more an adult entertainment going back to the “court-jesters” or “fools”.    Beginning in the late 18th and 19th centuries, the appearance of clowns began to shift and the first appearances of the painted white face and exaggerated expression (makeup) entered the scene.   These exaggerated expressions, which hide true, and recognizable facial features are in large part the reason for the fear.

Olivia Goldhill, former features writer for The Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/halloween/11194653/Why-are-we-so-scared-of-clowns.html) sums up the reaction of many in regards to clowns:

“The more you stare at a clown’s perpetually smiling face, the more it warps into something more sinister.

Clowns are supposedly figures of innocent fun – brightly colored jesters to entertain our children and slip on banana skins in exaggerated displays of slapstick comedy.

But the manic joy, the mask of make-up and the excessive familiarity are just a hair’s breadth away from terror.”

It is the grotesque, unnatural appearance of the human face and body, which triggers the fight/flight/freeze mechanism deep within our brains.  We get a sense of unease which is often amplified by the clown character acting in ways that would otherwise be socially unacceptable.  It is this very sense of discomfort and unease that authors such as Stephen King and director Stephen Spielberg tap into in the film IT  with the character PennyWise, or the character Twisty the clown in American Horror Freak Show, or the Joker in Batman.  In each of these, the clown embodies evil. The fear that often develops in young children who are sensitive to this odd, unfamiliar face (exaggerated features and hair) in a familiar body.  Historically, the actual people who have played clowns are themselves, sad, tragic, and often times sadistic people.

Children are taught, from the earliest ages, to avoid strangers.  It’s common for children to think that “bad strangers” look scary, like the villains in cartoons.  This is a natural growth that results from both the experience of seeing scary scenes, and creating them within their own minds.  This taught response, along with the stories reported in the news and social media have heightened the concerns and level of angst parents and communities are having.  Schools are reinforcing the warnings, especially among younger children.

While a small percentage of the U.S. population would actually be classified as coulrophoic (having the fear of clowns), they nonetheless do exist.  It is particularly difficult for these people during the Halloween season, when there is a greater number of people dressing up as clowns, and is further amplified by constant and increasing number of reports.

Fears or phobias are generally the result of unresolved processing of a traumatic experience.  Through hypnosis, the person suffering from the fear often plays a self-reinforcing, though unhealthy, mental loop that confirms the feeling.  I have helped a significant number of clients remove a host of fears and phobias that have previously paralyzed them.  Hypnosis is a powerful and useful tool in helping people overcome fears and phobias by helping them address and resolve the originating event that is the basis of their behavior.  Clients are then able to enjoy life.

Whether you fear clowns, heights, bridges, snakes or spiders, isn’t it time you made a positive change in your life with hypnosis?  STOP being controlled by your fear!  START living life free of anxiety.  I can help you with hypnosis.  SEE how!  Contact me at – info@hypnomarc.com or visit my websited – www.hypnomarc.com to request more information and to schedule your appointment – RIGHT NOW!

 

Marc Marshall, CH CHMI, is a certified consulting and stage hypnotist, author and motivational speaker with offices in Summit, NJ and Shaftsbury, VT.  He has helped people make dramatic improvements in their lives through his pain management, smoking cessation, weight loss, reducing stress and anxiety, and resolving fears and phobias programs.  Learn more today.