Stop with the New Year’s Resolutions!
They DON’T WORK!
The new year is here and like last year, and the year before and the year before that, you’ve decided it is time to take stock of your life. So, let me guess, you’re being bombarded online, on TV, on radio, your family, your doctor… EVERYWHERE, with ads to change your life; to find love; to join this gym, that weight loss program, stop smoking programs, stopping using substances or gambling or internet addiction . Well guess what? IT’S A SCAM! IT’S A FRAUD! It doesn’t work and it never will. Sure, you may change for a short time, but it won’t last. All you will have done is thrown away more money on band-aid fixes and reinforced that voice in your head that has been telling you for years it wouldn’t work. YES… another failure and that voice is right, again!
By now, you are saying to yourself… “This guy’s a real downer!” I’m psyched up to take charge of my life and make a change and here is some clown telling me it is never going to work. THAT’S RIGHT- IT WON’T! Because if it did, you never would be in this position. This is nothing more than doing the same thing over and expecting a different result. The weight loss industry with all their diet programs, gyms with membership come-ons and up-sell programs, all these programs know this one fact to be true; your conscious mind, that rational part of your brain that responds to the slick ads is incapable of sustained change. That means they can simply rinse and repeat their ads, parade out “happy” people and know how you, the vulnerable audience is going to flock to their “new and improved” program.
ARE YOU DOOMED TO LIVING AN UNHAPPY EXISTENCE?
As you guessed, that’s the wrong question. The real question begins with “WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?” Seriously, it comes down to simply that. More importantly it is a two part question – “What’s the problem; “How do you KNOW?” You see, my experience from years as a clinical hypnotist has taught me that the “PROBLEM” is never “THE PROBLEM”. You or your friends, family, therapist or doctor have put this label on a situation, on an experience, that is driving your unhealthy, unwanted behaviors and you continue to play that script over and over. Each time you replay that failed program in your mind or life, you are not only strengthening the negative behaviors, but you are also changing them and your brain.
The issue comes down to breaking the bonds that have ensnared you, probably for a good part of your life. Things like… “I’ve always been overweight . Growing up my family was heavy. That’s just who I am! “ or “I can’t focus, I have ADD/ADHD” or “I always windup with losers and getting hurt.” aren’t set in stone. Just because that is the way it has been, does it mean that is the way it will always be? That is solely up to you. You are the only one who can make that choice. You are the only one who can make this change. Band-aids don’t fix it! Living in the past or worrying about the future can’t change it. Change only happens when you are sick and tired of being sick and tired.
A large number of clients who come to see me for change work, begin by rehashing their stories of failures and pain. They do this because they have been trained by therapists to relive and retell their “stories.” They mistakenly believe that the answer lies in some mistake they made in the past. The problem is that this approach only continues to reinforce the dysfunction and fire up neural pathways that continue to feed the issue and increase the negative states of being. This is why I too often hear new clients telling me what they don’t want. They are focused on the negative behavior, the substance abuse, the sexual trauma, the fear, the pain, the weight and not on what they want to feel like and be.
SO HOW DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?
The subconscious mind is really amazing in its ability to make rapid and dramatic changes. Being that the subconscious mind is the feeling, non-rational mind that operates without you having to think about it. Being that the subconscious mind is literal, it is not being bound by logic. Its purpose is to protect us and keep us safe. Every action has a thought associated with it. Most of the time, we are unaware of the thought. Since behavior is controlled at the cellular level, it becomes important to change the emotional attachment that the subconscious mind holds to the behavior we are looking to change.
The challenge then becomes separating the intention from the behavior. The intention is what our subconscious mind is seeking to protect us from. It is the underlying goal of the behavior. Lasting change is dependent upon getting to a place of accepting the power of the resource state that you have inside of that unwanted behavior. Then reframing and amplifying it to a new and powerful resource state. When this is done, the negative emotions that have previously been associated with the behavior are replaced with new neural pathways, positive feelings and a release.
Since imagination is more powerful then knowledge, just imagine what it would be like to be different. Imagine being present and acting, rather than reacting to situations. What would that feel like? And as you picture your new and improved self, you are already beginning to make that lasting change permanent. And that feels good.
SO WHAT’S DIFFERENT, NOW?
In part, it is the realization that what happened, happened. You are not the same person that experienced that experience which has been driving those unwanted, unnecessary behaviors. You did the best you could with the tools that you had at the time. Those unnecessary and unwanted behaviors have been responsible for pain, both emotional and physical. The false memories have been keeping you stuck and unhappy. But that is how it was. Now, you have a chance to do something different. You have a chance to take all the resources from all your experiences and power them up so they serve to move you forward and finally attain your goals of being a better, healthier and happier you.
The repeated failures to make change were the result of the conflicts between your conscious and subconscious mind. And since it is impossible to hold conflicting ideas at the same time, there must be a winner and loser in our behaviors. The winner will always be the subconscious mind. As a result, it is necessary to bring our two minds into agreement. Once you have eliminated the conflict between the conscious and subconscious minds you are able to eat mindfully, sleep better, love yourself, be more active and present. These are all benefits that come once you are living in a new mindset.
WHAT IS THAT NOT?
This is a strange question. It is not a question that you are going to answer in that gym or therapy session or weight loss program without working through the “problem” state. The answers come when you step outside of the box of usual and move to being ready to accept the change. And even more interesting, is the fact that the change you seek can take place in a single hypnotherapy session. Unlike traditional therapies that focus on the “cause” or “problem” or negative behaviors. Hypnosis restructures the associated emotions and thinking that has been hardwired and amplified by the “stinking thinking.” If trauma takes place in an instant, why should anyone believe that change should take months or years?
What is really interesting is that because you have read down to this point of the article, you know that change has already begun. You now have knowledge that you didn’t have just a few minutes ago and that is different. So knowing what you know now, you are asking yourself “Where do I go now?”
You already know that everything you need to change already exists inside of you. And knowing that, you also know that you are looking for someone who understands that you can love who you were by loving who you can become. Becoming more resourceful is powerful. Hypnosis is the most powerful path forward. So, STOP WITH THE NEW YEAR”S RESOLUTIONS and take the action right now to respect yourself, love yourself and really pay attention to your needs.
SO, WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?
Is it that you want to reach out to me but don’t know how much more you want? Or is it that you want more in your life but are not sure how to get it? Does it really matter if you change now or in a couple of days from now, knowing that you are going to change. And isn’t it exciting to know that you are finding that all those new and powerful resources that change you will make you even more amazing.
I guess it comes down to a simple thought, creating an even easier action to reach out and just ask me when that change can happen for you. And because you want to know all of that I want to make it as easy as I can for you to get your answer, now. Just click or tap this link and you too can decide the best day to change your life with hypnosis and without question.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Marc Marshall is a certified hypnotist, medical hypnotist and certified mind-body specialist, author and motivational speaker with offices in Summit NJ and Shaftsbury Vt. He specializes in dealing with trauma, sexual trauma, pain and works with clients to empower and teach them how to improve their lives through hypnosis and mindfulness practice. For more information or to schedule an appointment or interview, email firstname.lastname@example.org or visit his website – www.hypnomarc.com